i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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