Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
