Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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