I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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