I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize