i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
