Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
