Say something about gay babies.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
