Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
