i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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