She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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