Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just had sex bonerless
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
