remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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