Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
