I understand why you refuse to be sober now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
