I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
