I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
