you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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