If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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