We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
