So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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