You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
