Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Your cock deserves a montage
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
