what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
