i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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