Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize