dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
