Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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