It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
