moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
