please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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