remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
