are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
