would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found your dick twin last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
