Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
