i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
