oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
