ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Banned from zoo.
Again?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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