Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
