ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize