Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think your dad took our porno
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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