this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize