I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
