I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
