I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize