somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
