My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize