guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
