i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
