hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
