Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
