I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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