i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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