i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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