..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
