Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
