was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize