he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
