some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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