so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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